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Gertrude and Johnny
Author Unknown
notes: A punch-line song using an old, familiar joke.
Gertrude and Johnny
© Unknown

     G               D         G
Wee johnny was sittin’ in his back yard
                     C      D    G
Playin’ with his cards and dice
                             D                  G
When Gertrude came in through the garden gate
           C      D      G
Carrying three white mice
“I got some of those�, Johnny said

Gertrude said, “No, you’ve not�
   G                    D           G
So Johnny said, “I bet you a penny piece of gum
                    C    D     G
I got somethin’ you ain’t got�

Deedle-edle-dee, Deedle-edle-dee
D                           G

So Johnny pulled down his new blue jeans
And he showed her what lie beneath
When Gertrude saw what Johnny had there
She was overcome with grief

She dropped her mouse, ran into the house
Cryin’ to her ma, “MA!�
“Johnny’s got something underneath his jeans that I have not got one�


About five minutes later Gertrude came back
She didn’t make a sound
Johnny was jumpin’ up and down
Wavin’ his willie ‘round

“It’s KO, John; I know that you’ve won
But I don’t really mind
‘Cause me mommy says as long as I’ve got one of these here
I can get one of those any time�