(Trad.)
E A E
As I come home on a Monday night, as drunk as drunk could be
A E B7
I saw a horse outside the door, where my auld horse should be
E A
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
E A B7 E
Who owns that horse outside the door, where my auld horse should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the lovely milk-cow me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
But a saddle on a milk-cow I never saw before
As I come home on a Tuesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door, where my auld coat should be
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door, where my auld coat should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the woolen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
But buttons on a wool blanket, sure, I never saw before
As I come home on a Wednesday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a hat upon the rack, where my auld hat should be
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that hat upon the rack, where my auld hat should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the lovely chamber pot me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
But a sweat-band on a chamber pot I never saw before
As I come home on a Thursday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the shelf, where my auld pipe should be
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the shelf, where my auld pipe should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the pennywhistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
Tobacco in a tin whistle, sure, I never saw before
As I come home on a Friday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw some boots beneath the bed, where my auld boots should be
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them boots beneath the bed, where my auld boots should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the auld geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
Laces in a geranium pot I never saw before
As I come home on a Saturday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a rise beneath the sheets, where my wee rise should be
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that rise beneath the sheets, where my wee rise should be
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the auld sheleighleigh that me mother sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
Lerodies on a sheleighleigh, sure, I never saw before
As I come home on a Sunday night, as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a man, from the house he ran, a little bit after three
So I calls me wife and I says to her: will you kindly tell to me
Who was that man, from the house he ran, a little bit after three
Oh, you’re drunk, you’re drunk, you silly auld fool, and still you cannot see
That’s the tax collector that the British sent to me
Well, it’s many a year I’ve traveled, a hunderd mile or more
But an Englishman that could last til three I never saw before